Note: The photos in this story have been color adjusted to reflect the mood.

 

I haven't had time to read it yet, but I'm certainly looking forward to it. A couple of initial comments:

1. Pictures! Yay!

2. I have to admit, this is the first time I've seen "US Government" used as a tag. Between that and "Big Tits and Gams" you're certainly a strange one.

 

Thanks. I see the trolls have already started in over on the Sex Stories side. <shrug>

 

nice..

 

Well... I found the subject matter of the story to be both erotic and believable. A world full of females needing to suck cock and consume semen wouldn't be such a bad place (for the men). Adding the incest angle was a good twist too. On the minus side... I was put off by the change in narrative view from writing first-person to third-person. You should always stay with one perspective (in my opinion) and not jump between. I also didn't see what this story (though good) had to do with the CAW11 photo and the theme of the challenge.

 

The photo was a picture of Sarah walking down the road, looking for a source of the White.

"They found her wandering down the street, aimlessly, until she saw them."

I suppose I could have made a bigger deal about it, and described the street in more detail and the buildings, but since I've read multiple stories in past challenges that didn't even come close to touching upon the posted challenge, I didn't think that this would be much of a stretch.

With regards to the change in perspective, I heartily disagree. I purposely changed the POV, often, to add tension to the story. I'm actually not alone in doing this. Didn't Faulkner change the POV often in The Sound and the Fury. I'm not claiming to be as exceptional a writer as Faulkner, however, it doesn't take away from the fact that it is an acceptable technique. You said you were put off by it, which means it didn't work for you, and that's fine. It does not, however, mean that it shouldn't be employed.

Thanks for commenting.

 

Great story Horse.

I like the seperation into chapters and the illustrations.

Very good.

Good Luck.

 

that was fantastic we need more of that. here is a suggestion take or toss it I don't care maybe in a future chapter you could find a cure but discover that the brains of all women have been altered to the point that they don't need it anymore but they just enjoy it or there is a cure but swallowing still gives them a drug type high

 

I forgot to mention it, in my initial comment, but I thought that your presentation, of this story, was ground breaking and over-the-top fantastic! I just marveled and loved the totally different format. Bravo on that! I (for one) am jealous of your creativity and feel that this story is the challenge front-runner (though it's early in the game).

 

Thanks

Let's see the other sites that come into the forum and steal our stories scrape this one, lol! Not possible. I didn't do it for that reason, but it works that way too. When I went into the images and saw that we can create very long images, the though intrigued me. Max of ten attachments for a single post, and max of about 480k per image. Could it be done? So I messed around with the settings, tweaking it here and there, some testing, and got it to work. Then of course I had to go find the images that would be suitable for the story.

We'll see if others pick up on this format in the future. It certainly was extra work to do it this way, that's for sure.

 

Good story. My only comment is that it doesn't seem to relate to the picture.

 

As I stated above:

The photo was a picture of Sarah walking down the road, looking for a source of the White.

"They found her wandering down the street, aimlessly, until she saw them."

I suppose I could have made a bigger deal about it, and described the street in more detail and the buildings, but since I've read multiple stories in past challenges that didn't even come close to touching upon the posted challenge, I didn't think that this would be much of a stretch.

 

I'm not a consistent reader of stories on the forum--or the stories site, for that matter--but in my experience, several have been enhanced by photo illustrations. And this is one of them, for sure.

 

Thank you very much! ::: bowing ::::

 

Horse - I will say it this way; based on what I have read so far of the CAW 11 stories, this one is among the best yet. Your story shows true flare, imagination, originality and complete realism all too well. I was swept up into an unnerved shudder as I understood that such an event as you have depicted could happen in the future.

Well done Horse.

Ride Hard, live free, and keep on writing.

 

I would like to suggest (out of gender fairness) that you create a sequel where the women are cured but the disease mutates and now the MEN are affected and become weak and sick unless THEY get to orally withdraw a needed substance from the vaginas of close female relatives above the age of menarche. Call this one "The Red".

Whatdaya think?

 

Wow...now THAT's the kinda' reaction that I was hoping to get! While this certainly has its fair (or unfair) share of sex in it, my thought was that it sets a scenario that easily could allow for it to become an ongoing online novel, to allow for far more character and plot development.

Appreciate your kind words.

I'm purposely holding off on reading anyone's story until all are in and the list is posted, just cause I wanna' do the one a day thing and not get too far ahead and then be bored while waiting for the voting. But I appreciate the early reads and comments! :excited:

 

nice pics

 

I will conduct due diligence on that suggestion and give it all of the consideration that it deserves.

 

Hmmm...wish you would have said something about the story!